Lately I have been too busy or too tired to get on here and tell you much. After work, I spend a few hours pouring over paperwork, financials, bills, etc..trying to get Mom & Husband’s financial house in order - it’s not easy, there was no mortgage life insurance, or anything like that…and they spent money like water, so I am trying to set up a budget, pay off credit cards, and get everything in order so that when I meet with the financial advisor I have everything I need and can at least act like I know what I am talking about!
No nibbles on the house yet, a few lookers…..still hoping.
A slight nibble on the trailer…keep your fingers crossed for me on that one….someone actually asked to look at it!
Haven’t even listed the truck, because we’re using it to haul stuff to Goodwill!

As I spent the weekend over at Mom’s, putting her to her final rest, and preparing the house for sale…I thought I would share some of our progress. Things are starting to fall into place, a little slower that I would like - but I can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel!

We got a LOT done this weekend. Special thanks to Stepmom and my friend J, who tagged along to help, and jumped right in without complaint.

The garage is completely cleaned out, we took 2 truckloads to Goodwill, and stacked the Estate Sale stuff neatly on 1 side. You can probably park 2 normal size cars in there now - imagine that!

We de-cluttered a lot of the house, and got a lot of things sorted and packed away. I am very pleased about this, as I want any potential buyers to see the HOUSE, and not all the clutter and stuff that was in it.

We emptied all of the kitchen cabinets, eliminated a lot of extra uneeded things, washed all the Tupperware (Literal mountains of it!) and tried to match all of them up with lids so we could decide what would be kept and what would be sold. It was kind of funny, our little Tupperware assembly line, with Sister washing, Mom’s husband drying, and 2 of us trying to match up the peices and stack them!

We weeded the front garden and cleared the entryway, swept and made the yard look neat and curb-friendly for anyone coming to see the house.

And, we all gathered in the front yard by the real estate sign, where I buried St Joseph and Niece said the prayer aloud for the sale of the house.

I am hopeful, that with the progress we made this weekend, that we can have the Estate Sale by the end of March, and announced that out loud as my goal.

On the financial side, there is still much work to be done, but I am thankful for small bits of progress, and the financials I have to work out on my own, not getting any help on that end from the siblings - I WILL get it all figured out….one day at a time.

We buried my Mom yesterday, under the shade of a cedar tree…just like the ones on the Jersey Shore where she grew up, raised us, and lived most of her adult life.

Headed over to the other side of the state this weekend. Mom’s Interment is Saturday, and we are all going to stay the weekend so we can sort through the house some more, and pack, and de-clutter and ensure all the door hardware and the entire house looks good for any potential buyers! Older Sister has been over there with Mom’s Husband, as he cannot be left alone, and she has been going through closets and boxing things up and stacking in the garage. We’ll probably make a few Goodwill runs to make room for more of the stuff in the garage that we are either keeping or selling at the Estate sale.
Baby Steps.
I feel like we are slowly moving forward.
Baby Steps.

This afternoon at work, I glanced over at the picture of my Mom on my desk - a picture that I chose off of her refrigerator last weekend when I was there, it was taken just 1 year ago. She’s smiling brightly, beaming into the camera as she hold’s my cousin’s baby boy, she looks so happy and healthy..nice beefy arms. For a fleeting moment, the thought crossed my mind “I have to call and check on Mom and see how she’s doing”…..and then I realized, I cannot.

So, Izea has announced that their latest round of Blog Battle Royale is going to be for charity - and only charity related blogs can be in the battle. The winner gets $1000 donated to their charity. Those who know me, know that I do not like to be in the spotlight, I am a hang in the background kind of girl…but this time, I must step up and throw my hat into the ring..not only for my Mom, but for anyone and everyone who has had their life , and heart, ripped open by this horrible disease.

Here it is folks. My entry into the battle, my chance to increase awareness, and an opportunity to continue to tell my Mother’s story, in the hopes that it will help someone, anyone.

I call this My purple blog.

I purchased my own domain last August, and started this blog so that I could talk about my Mother’s battle with Pancreatic Cancer. . And talk I did. From the first post in that category on August 20, 2007…….until her death 2 weeks ago. I chose the color scheme of purple because it’s the color for Pancreatic Cancer Support and Awareness. I did not start this blog to raise money for Pancreatic Cancer, as much as I did it to raise awareness and give myself a forum to open up my feelings and talk about what it was like to not only watch your loved one slowly deteriorate from this horrible disease, but what it does to the family and caregivers as well. When Mom was diagnosed last June, I had never even heard of Pancreatic Cancer, I immediately turned to the internet to educate myself, and started talking, and typing. There were times when I wore my heart on my sleeve, and shared things that I dared not share to close friends and family in person. Sometimes it’s easier to share here, behind the mask of your monitor, where people don’t really know who you are.

I made friends with total strangers, and found a support network that I never dreamed was out there. And, if I helped just one person learn something new about this most deadly form of cancer, or helped one other caregiver or survivor to get through their day, then it was all worth it.

Worth every tear that fell as I typed the story of the longest night of my life, worth every trip across the state in the wee hours of the morning to take her to the oncologist, worth every heart wrenching moment of her last Christmas with us. Pancreatic Cancer took my Mother from me, and I will spend the rest of my days trying to raise awareness and ensure it does not take someone elses.

I have spent a lot of time this weekend sorting through Mom & Husband business. Sorting & filing paperwork and medical documents…..sorting receipts for their spending for the past 6 months…trying to figure out what their monthly fixed expenses are - no, it is not written down anywhere. My Mother, God rest her soul, was not good with the organizational skills or the financials.

I found 4 uncashed checks for reimbursement of out of pocket medical expenses, totalling $483!! They were never even opened!

I realized through analyzing their spending that a representative of the Sam Walton family should have not only been at my Mother’s memorial service, but probably should have paid for at least half of it! Mom liked to spend money at Wal Mart - a LOT of money.

It is my hope, and prayer - that at least ONE person in my family will learn from Mom’s poor spending habits, and change their ways now.

Tonight we are having a family meeting (Siblings and I) to discuss our progress and proceed with a fresh “to do” list. I am happily going to get up on my soapbox and preach to the masses about lack of budgeting and spending money you do not have.

Snoopy had his annual visit to the vet this morning……he got his shots, heartworm check, urine check, etc….was talking to the Doctor about his Fanconi Syndrome and how he seems to be handling the treatment (wonder if I can get him one of those medical jewelry tags to hang on his collar?!), and the vet was nice enough to ask how I was handling all of it. I kind of looked at him like..”Huh?”…and he said that some people may not handle being able to care for an animal like that and would just give them up or put them down…..(I must have had a shocked look on my face)…I told him that it never occured to me how I was handling it, my concern is for Snoopy and how his health is and how he is doing on the treatment program…and doing everything I could to ensure he had a healthy and happy life.
Period.
While it was a major shock when he was first diagnosed, and it took me a while to get used to the treatment - he is my dog, part of my family and I love him unconditionally - taking care of him is my job as his Mom.
Period.
The Doctor told me he admired my committment to Snoopy, which was very nice - even though I never thought about it that way.